April 1st is tomorrow and every year I see at least one person post a vague, misleading status insinuating that they are “expecting.” I know it isn’t meant to be hurtful, but joking about pregnancy really isn’t funny. You most likely have a friend who is silently dealing with infertility or pregnancy loss who is hoping, wishing and praying that they were pregnant.
One in four pregnancies ends in miscarriage.
One in eight couples experiences fertility issues.
Trying to get pregnant and then actually stay pregnant is a very emotional roller coaster, and couples who are dealing with these struggles often find it difficult to seek out emotional support. People have a hard time discussing miscarriages and infertility…the topics don’t usually come up in casual conversation.
Kyle and I dealt with fertility issues for over three years before we finally got pregnant. I found out on Christmas Day…I still remember the look of sheer joy/terror/excitement/amazement in Kyle’s face when he opened the present with the positive pregnancy test and the little onesie. A few months later, we lost that baby. Three months after that, we found out that we had actually naturally conceived triplets but were going to lose one of the babies.
Every pregnancy announcement from my friends was exciting and saddening for me. I was so joyful that my friends were growing their families, but at the same time I was heartbroken at my inability to grow my own family. I’m not suggesting that people hide their joys to keep someone else from getting upset. If you have good news, SHARE IT! I always enjoyed seeing my friends happily posing with their babies because even though it made my heart ache, it gave me a sense of hope…it gave me something to look forward to.The burden of loss or inability to conceive is a personal one and it is up to each individual person to bear that burden and move forward. We cannot expect the world to stop for us because we have experienced heartache and loss. We also cannot expect the general population to fully understand the feeling of longing for a child or the emptiness of losing a child. But knowing that someone had the luxury to joke about becoming pregnant was a kick in the guts to me… a knife to my heart.
What I’m asking for is sensitivity and empathy.
Don’t get me wrong…I love a good joke. I have a few great ones planned for tomorrow, myself. But please understand that a fake pregnancy announcement could be causing some of your closest friends undue heartache.