Ups and Downs. (TMI and graphic, personal content)

There’s a lot to tell. This post has TMI. Deal with it.
I found out on Christmas Day that I was pregnant. I was able to surprise Kyle with the A&M onesie and pregnancy test that I wrapped up. He was excited and scared.
Everything was going great. We told our families and close friends. At the end of January we went in for our first ultrasound. We saw our baby. We saw the heartbeat. We HEARD the heartbeat. We were sent home with two sonograms. We had my Dad and Jane over for dinner to show them the pictures. We made it “facebook official” and told ALL of our friends. Congratulations poured in. I was ALMOST hesitant to spread the news before the coveted three month mark but I was naive. Nothing would happen to our baby. I started a Target baby registry and pulled items from my friend’s registries that I liked. I picked out the baby bedding. I wrote in my journal to baby. We were excited. We were in awe that we were finally pregnant.
Last week Kyle went out of town for a training class for his work. The night before he left I had teeny tiny cramps. I had teeny tiny spotting. Teeny tiny back pain. I was kinda worried but figured I was over reacting. I still called the doctor Monday. The nurse told me everything I was experiencing was normal. I chalked it up to nerves and tried to ignore it. Wednesday I noticed my boobs weren’t as sore. I figured I was getting used to it or that it was just getting better as my pregnancy progressed. Thursday at work I had shooting pain in my back that got worse when I moved for breathed. I figured it was because of the way I was sitting. I didn’t tell Kyle it had gotten worse… I didn’t want him to worry and leave his class. The spotting has gotten slightly worse… nothing too bad though. I met him in La Grange Friday evening and played with Rowdy while Kelsie and Stetson went out for her birthday. It was so nice to hold him and feed him. He fell asleep on my chest and put his hand on my neck. Saturday I went with Kyle’s mom to run errands, then we went with Kyle and his dad to fill feeders. We left after eating dinner. My back pain had gotten worse but I thought it was from the bouncy truck. Kyle caught a cold from Austin so we didn’t go to church Sunday morning. We loafed around the house. I read more pregnancy magazines. They were scattered around the house… across the coffee table, the kitchen table, on both nightstands. We went to the grocery store and I bought a ton of tuna fish (instead of taking DHA, Dr. Gubbels said I could eat tuna twice a week so Tuesday and Thursday were tuna days.) We argued about the sandwich meat and cheese… I couldn’t have the fresh cut deli stuff so we settled on the prepackaged stuff. I bought Reese’s pieces because I read that eating a small bit of chocolate everyday lowered your chances of getting preeclampsia. When we got home, Kyle went to put the big dogs in the shed and I started unloading the light groceries. As I went to unlock the door, I started sneezing and dropped the keys. As I sneezed and bent over I felt a gush and thought for sure I had peed myself. I brought the groceries in and went to the bathroom. Kyle had come in by that time and was unloading. I pulled my pants down and sat down. I looked at my bloody underwear and said “Oh SHIT!” and instantly started sobbing. Kyle ran in and tried to console me. When I had called the week before, the nurse said I only needed to be worried if the bleeding was heavy, like a period. Well… here I was. Sitting on the toilet with bloody underpants crying while my husband sat on the edge of the tub and held my hand. He offered (threatened) to call 911… I sobbed no, call my mother. Mom told Kyle to call the hospital. I decided to sit in the tub like I always do when I’m not feeling well. By the time he got in touch with a doctor, I had told myself to stop crying, if I was having a miscarriage, it was inevitable. They couldn’t stop it and if they could, we wouldn’t want them to. I got out of the tub and talked to the doctor. She said if the cramping and bleeding got worse, to go to the ER, otherwise I should just call my doctor in the morning. She says to lay in bed with my feet propped up. 
Monday morning I go to work early. The bleeding is a little worse. My mom and sister have been calling and texting me trying to make me feel better. This can be normal, they say. Google says it happens all the time. Kyle’s mom says she had a lot of bleeding with Kyle and he turned out ok.
I call the doctor as soon as they open. They get me the first available ultrasound appointment. I call my sister, she says she’ll drive me to meet Kyle in Wharton. 

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